Rest . . . my mind. So full for so long, with so many thoughts, and so much to do all the time, so much to think about, so many intense and fragile contexts . . . . Rest . . . my soul. Pushed and stretched for so much. Challenge and change. Create, create, create . . . . Rest . . . my body. Slugged with a bug, physically restrained. Catch up, lie down, close your eyes. Ignore everything, just breathe. . . . . and rest. |
Rest . . . let mind, body and soul rest. Let the noise of life subside. Let the noise of busyness slow. Let the noise of fragility be silenced. Rest. Breathe, and rest.
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It is a power that has stood against death and held out. It is the power that can bridge the gap between humanity, between creation and God. It is the power that can transform the soul. Why do I fear when I can rest in God, I can draw on the strength of this power to rise above that which pushes me down.
I can ride it on the waves of the ocean - and fall in surrender to it as it crashes onto the sand. And I come up unscathed. Why do I fear . . . . Why do I want to hide and run . . . . I don't have to. I have this power of God to draw on. To rest in, and to be held in. So I pray for the one whom I have difficulty with. The one who is causing me stress and fear. May your love win them out Lord. May I not be fearful of the judgement they hold. May I not be afraid to push back with love. May I find that strength I need in the engagement from the strength and power of who you are as Lord of ALL! May the other be gently challenged by your grace, by your love, your mercy and forgiveness. May they be open to hear you call their name with love.
I am scared, yes. I am anxious yes. And I am courageous. As I notice the fear, and lean into it, I find myself slipping and surrendering to it. In the moment of surrendering to it, I am able to come to a different place. I can own only what is mine to own. I can rise above the fear, I can transform it creatively, and I can let it go.
I draw on the strength of who God has created me to be. I draw on the safeguarding of collegiate conversations, maintaining integrity of self and others. I ask myself critical questions, and face the fear I have. I find my creative and contemplative spaces that allow me to know who I am as just me. My psychologist from four and a half years ago would be proud! My coach from earlier this year would be proud. My deepest fear, was having to face this again. My deepest fear was being vulnerable in a public space. I can be no more vulnerable, I can be no more fearful than the moment of the trigger. And I have not gone splat on the wall! I have come a long way. And I am drawing on the strength of God as I step into the vulnerable public space. |
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